This past weekend we got the chance to participate in the Inner Circle dinner, a song-and-dance roast of the Mayor put on by the city’s political press corps. Reporters who would never even get a try-out on “Dancing with the Stars” take the stage at the Hilton and pray they will not humiliate themselves (the prayers are rarely answered).
The Mayor then gets his chance to strike back, only he gets help from members of a real Broadway show. It’s the equivalent of showing up for a pick-up basketball game and bringing along Lebron James.
This year, the Mayor, dressed as Spiderman, swooped onto the stage attached to a high-wire. Then, mimicking the misfortunes of the ill-fated musical, he got stuck dangling above the stage, looking for a way down.
I couldn’t help but think that the Spiderman send-up was a metaphor for the Mayor’s third term.
The show’s $65 million budget is the most expensive in Broadway history, just like the Mayor’s re-election campaign. Both the musical and the Mayor have very little to show for it.
All third terms are trouble, but the Mayor can’t seem to dig his way out of one problem after another. The biggest debacle – the Christmas blizzard – provided easy fodder for our own roast script-writers. To the tune of "There’s No Business Like Show Business," we sang, "There’s no snow job like Mike’s snow job, like no snow job I know.
While the city services are reeling . . . tells the people that he really cares . . .
Flies away on weekends on his jet plane, you don’t feel our pain, you zillionaire!"
Empathy was never Mike Bloomberg’s strong point, but it didn’t matter, so long as the streets were plowed on time.
The Mayor, of course, is a multi-billionaire, with many hideaways, but it didn’t matter, so long as he didn’t get caught in Bermuda when New York was snowed under.
The Mayor has always come off a bit arrogant, but it didn’t matter, so long as his picks for top posts proved competent, or at least appeared to be.
The Mayor has always had his mind on the big issues, but it didn’t matter, as long as he sweated all the small stuff.
Now it’s time that the Mayor’s third act has a revival.
Unlike the Spiderman musical, which may be the show that actually closes before it opens, the Mayor’s show goes on, for two more years.
Unlike the Spiderman musical, he still has time to change the reviews.