February – the month of love – the month of high expectations, romance, disappointment and even loneliness. Valentine’s Day can bring up a lot of feelings whether you are married, in a relationship or single.
What is it that makes for a magical relationship? Is it flowers and chocolates? It can be. If you are in a magical relationship then romantic gestures such as flowers or candlelit dinners can add romance to the relationship but if your relationship is filled with anger, disappointment and disconnection, a romantic gesture won’t change a thing. In fact, it can sometimes make couples feel lonelier, more separate.
So what is a magical relationship? It is not like a fairytale film. It is not about perfection and constant blissful joy. A magical relationship is one between two committed partners in which each partner is happier staying together than being apart. In a magical relationship there is love, trust and support for each others’ dreams.
Very often relationships are missing key elements that research shows are needed for a relationship to be healthy and fulfilling. Below is a list of characteristics that research shows are needed to be present for a relationship to be healthy. The emphasis on these characteristics is different for each relationship and at different times in a relationship, couples will find that the emphasis of these characteristics will change.
● Communication is open
● Conflict is OK
● Partners listen to one another
● Play & relaxation are encouraged
● Freedom exists to participate in activities alone or with friends
●Partners trust one another
● Individuals take responsibility for their behavior
● Humor is used to cope with mistakes
Married? How does your relationship compare with these characteristics? Are there characteristics listed that you currently enjoy? Note these and share it with your partner.
Use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to appreciate one another for the great ways your marriage is working. Use this as an opportunity to show your appreciation for your spouse’s participation in making these characteristics an active part of your life.
Are there characteristics listed that are missing from your marriage? If so, focus on these and work together to bring more of these to your day to day life. Make Valentine’s Day a time to set goals to achieve one missing characteristic.
Single? Look at your past relationships and see which of these characteristics was missing. Are these the same characteristics that were missing in previous relationships? Think of ways you can bring one missing characteristic into your next relationship. Can you bring it to a current friendship? Practice makes perfect!
Want to learn more about making the magic last? Contact me at 888-576-6789 about a couples’ telecast.