Question: I have been living with depression for years. I see a doctor and a therapist and I have been able to get through school and hold down a 9-5 job. My problem is that I have no family in the U.S. and have no social life. – Tim Surley, Flushing, NY
Answer: Tim, any social worker will tell you that social environment plays a key role in every individual’s mental wellbeing. That being said, unfortunately the key services provided in mental healthcare do not address this area.
However, I am glad to tell you that there are options and opportunities that you can try on your own that can help you create a social life. First of all, there is a model called a psychosocial clubhouse which provides just this; a supportive place for individuals with mental illness to hang out and create social connections. In Queens, the Venture House is a great example of an organization that provides this kind of environment. However, wherever you live, there are hundreds of psychosocial clubhouses throughout the United States.
Another thing that has helped a lot of people in recent years is the advent of social networking and specialized online forums. For example, psychcentral.com has a great forum for people with mental illness to meet others and create social connections. Facebook and Twitter also has a lot of groups and chat rooms for individuals with mental illness. Upon checking out these sites, I was surprised and happy to discover that these forums were not being used just for support but also for social connections.
The bottom line is that the mental healthcare system doesn’t directly address this issue, but with personal initiative and some internet know how; you can find several areas to grow your own social network.
Hiding her depression for hubby
Question: I have four children, and spend most of my day at home taking care of the house and kids. I get really depressed sometimes but I don’t want to tell anyone about it because my husband has a professional position and I’m concerned that it will affect his job. What should I do? – Miriam Gwenryth, Middle Village, NY
Answer: Miriam, it is not unusual for housewives to get depressed. If you are not comfortable seeking professional help than there are some other options that you can look at to address the issue on your own.
Often, staying cooped up in the house all day can cause someone to begin feeling bored, lonely, or “stir crazy”. Finding new hobbies or activities that you enjoy can be very helpful in alleviating the feelings of boredom or lack of accomplishment. Perhaps there is a group or club in your community that you would like to get involved or participate in. Lately, with the growth spurt of internet groups and networks there are additional opportunities to connect with other people that have similar interests.
I understand your hesitancy in seeking consultation with a mental health professional, but I do want to encourage you to give it more thought. One of the things that motivates me to write this article each month is the unfortunate statistic that each year more than 60 percent of individuals with a mental illness don’t get any help. Every day, people such as yourself don’t seek help because of the stigma, however in your case you have given a lot of thought to seeking help. Perhaps it would be worthwhile to consider just taking the next step.
Jacob Berelowitz, LMSW is host and executive director of Talk Therapy TV. Send your questions to jacob@talktherapytv.org
